Monday, October 19, 2015

Happy Tears

Sitting here with tears in my eyes..
I never ever check back on my posts, like moments in my life, I look back only when I needed reminders of mistakes made, lessons learnt and moments of gratitude.

For the first time, in a long time, I blogged and checked back for confidence.

And I stumbled upon the words of one I love so so much.

Thank you Anonymous.
We've been through SHITSTORMS, and I'm sure there is more to come.
To the bunny moments xx

Is it possible?

To feel:

So comfortable yet challenged.
So slow, while moving at warp speed.
That warm glow of yellow, all safely contained by the calm of blue.
Peacefully alone, beside another being.
Insight-fully educated, all while knowing.
So restful, being passionate.
Like thousands of moments past..


Tuesday, July 29, 2014

What's wrong with you?!?

Not like your homosexual friends are imposing their thoughts on you, telling you your religion is terrible and trying to turn you gay right?

All they ask for is THEIR OWN freedom, to love.

So why should it be alright when you come along, imposing your biblical thoughts and branding them as "sinners"?

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Happiness review

This morning, sitting in "good morning Chiang Mai", one of my favorite cafes here in the old city, I did a quiet review of my happiness.

Scrolling through Facebook posts of my peers, I find myself in a thankful position.

I don't have a significant other, which gives me the freedom to dream.

I don't have a high paying job, but it's enough for my comfort here in chiang Mai.

I have once again, returned to my passion. The ability to inspire others as much as they do me.

As I sit here on a Tuesday morning, I am thankful, for all that has unraveled thus far.

No, it hasn't always been easy or smooth, but it has rawked my boat and taught me, to breath and love through all situations, to find the best on the worst of days and moments. To appreciate.

28 years isn't too long, but it is to experience some of the most innocent of things, life has to offer.
And I'm
Glad that I have not grown up too much, to stop appreciating those things.
Even more blessed that there's no one to tell me otherwise.

Keep the currents rolling, life, your next wave, fuels my riding pleasure. 

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Our story

Winter 2012

March 2013

Autumn 2013

Winter 2013

And more...

Tuesday, January 07, 2014

Most things

I'm alot of things.


Just not perfect.

Friday, November 15, 2013

dated accomplishments

A year, 3 months to date.

Took off ring for the last time, with one failed engagement and another utterly huge ass relationship down the gutter.

If failure scored brownie points in life, I'd be an absolute winner.

Now let me go contemplate on writing a book on how to get out of relationships in the worst possible manner.

I've done it once, twice, three time.. Still not shy (:

Two knees down, one failed attempt.

Awesome track record.

Now you dare devils, stay in line, coming to a relationship near you.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013


I grew up in the perfect environment with parents injecting positive thoughts like

"You can do ANYTHING you believe in."

And it's only done me well.
Until these few years of my quarter life crisis.

They've made my limitations shine, putting down a huge part of my self esteem and confidence.

Enough of introduction to my boring old life, this entry is about Monday, the 22nd of July.
I decided to try out a new job in sales, this time, not only did I crash, yours truly, went up in flames and burnt.

Past two weeks, post signing the letter of confirmation, was alot of self talk and relentless amount of confidence boost. Went out shopping for new work clothes, read up on related subjects etc. and it all came up to nothing.

Day one came and I was brought on a building tour, the gym, dance studio, cafeteria and the list goes on. HR finally handed me over to the marketing department and since my direct boss wasn't available for the day, I had to be babysat by another manager. He sat me down at my cubicle, nice wide space, introduced me to the whole office (person by person), which was a terrible idea, cause by the end of it, I had no idea who my neighbors were.

Only thing I remember was I had nothing to do for about half an hour, sitting there, swirling around in my chair and wondering why the ceiling was so ugly and the office so warm. Thinking back at my first day teaching, I walked into a class of 25 young, excited ballerina wannabes and I was pumped, excited and ready to go. Why am I not feeling like this??!

Where did that drive, that sense of purpose go?!
I was in sales, which means a highly self-driven job, basic and work damn hard for your monthly target and commission.

I got so worried by lunch and after that was a whole afternoon of going through acre-names and the different ways to sell. They weren't too tough or anything, but I could not for the hell of me, relate that to anything I can ever be interested in doing.

I actually felt more connection towards air craft doors and carts, the different ways to  apologize and makes people buy your words than this. Came 6:30pm and I walked out of the office feeling utterly confused and unfulfilled. By 9:30pm, it hit me, I was having dinner with my boy, instead of enjoying myself, I kept thinking about the next day and the amount of nothingness that is to come.

Day 1 and I was unhappy.
It takes a whole different breed to take up an office job, even one that allows constant getting out and about, meeting clients.
I need to either be fully on the move and constant go, or happily stuck in a dance studio.

My apologies for those who believed I could do it especially Daniel, I love you so much and it annoys me to have failed your kindness.

Still don't know what I want form here on,
something I've learnt for sure,
is a list of things I do not want.