Wednesday, August 13, 2008

One year's worth

Evereyone seems to have alot more confident in me than myself... I'm really really drained, it's been a year plus since my last vacation and I'm really realy tired.. Dancing, teaching.. And I seem to still not know where exactly this September to November period's gonna bring me, a windfall of greats results or more tears than I've already shed.

About a year ago, I took up some really impossible missions due to another person's irresponsibility. At the beginning it was just for the time being, to let things settle down and from there, work something else out. But all that fell into place was more and more and much much more resposibility a persn my age and time can handle. 3Majors... one done with failures.. I would like to not blame myself for them but its inevitable that I beat myself up about it. 2 coming with an extra repeat for the failures of last year.

I wish I could talk myself into believing that I've done a well enough job, that the grrls have improved to such a level as my bosses said. But just the mere fact they're not ready for Sylvia WU scares the shit out of me. 3 senior teachers' encouragement can only do that much. The dates' nearing, some of my babies are still not ready. This one year I've learnt so so much. How to be on the way to being a good teacher. How important respect is (Something Miss June Lee's grrls especially take for granted as we've been trained that way, Thank you) and how hard it is to gain that respect you think you deserve as many others might wish to differ.

I'm so drained right now you won't believe. Others drain themselves bacause they have such a "lifestyle" outside of their working life, but since last June, I've been drained by the little people I love O' so much now. Which I'm proud of, to one day look back when I'm better established and to be able to tell myself that in my 22nd year, I've done well as a young teacher and I bloomed with my grrls, not to have wasted all that time partying and engaging myself with unhealthy company and lifestyle.
And last but not least, to thank the ONE person's that given all these to me. That irresponsible party I've mentioned earlier on. Thank you

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