So WHAT?!

Was watching The Tyra Bank's Show on channel 5 and this episode was about Tyra's People magazine issue. How alot of the papprazzi in the U.S called her FAT. She had her whole audience dressed in the same bodysuit that she wore on the frontpage, not only that, they all had their weight stated on their chest! How courageous is that?

It has always been a war, mostly for females and the one thing that we were at war with, our very own body, our WEIGHT!! And as a modern female, I was too, at war. A constant war. Not only am I a modern female, I did not have the luxury of sitting in the office all day and allowing my mind to hide from my body. My body is being put to the test daily, infront of tens and tens of children and their parents. Ballet classes growing up and even back in dance school, I had always been the bigger dancer, the one that'll stand further back in class, the one that the ballet teachers would be picky towards when it came to my size. I have broad shoulders and that didn't help at all, if anything, it only made me look bigger.

I was lucky enough to have my contemporary and jazz teachers actually appreciating my body cos the one thing I can do is lift another female or sometimes, even male dancers in class! And that makes me a good partner cos unlike ballet duets, contemporary didn't have the "Males LIFT and females LIFTED" rule. =)

I have always been a skinny child, always getting my mum in trouble cos my dad's side of the family thinks she hasn't been feeding me well enough. And at puberty, I BLOOBED!! yes, BLOOBED like a balloon. I became literally, a fat kid. I remember switching ballet schools when I was about 10 and there, after the audition class, my new ballet teacher walked out with a big smile and said this to my mother "She's got potential and I'd love to have her join my class, but she'll have to lose abit of weight." As a kid, I didn't think much of it and probably due to my character, up till today it hasn't been a serious "SCAR" thing. Lucky me...

So far as a dancer and a dance teacher, I've always been stressed about my weight and size, I even had my ballet teacher coming into class one day and advising me to stop eating, beat that! haha.. I am very self conscieous when it came to the way I look and alot of my pals have gotten so use to it. I still have, up-to-date, a whole list of clothings I'd never wear and before 2006, I would not even give a tube top a 2nd look cos I've always believed that due to my shoulder size, it would make me look bigger than life.

So today, right here on my blog (Although not one with high readership) I'm gonna reveal my weight =) I'm 121 Pounds

To my grrlfriends out there who are fighting themselves constantly, fighting a battle is one thing, but living life is another. Don't stop living! Ever! Not even for your weight! We who live to eat shall enjoy! Not INDULGE without control, but enjoy!

And as Tyra had said, it's not about looking left and right and noticing others it's about looking in that mirror daily and being the best YOU can be.

I'm not a regular tinyass dancer, but SO WHAT?!