Deadly blissful silence

I'm... feeling... Alone..
That's what my facebook application says for the least..

I've been reminiscing quite abit lately. About the days when I actually felt troubled constantly but all that drama around me. But now... Even though my days are alot simpler, simple people, good job, friends... I still am troubled.

I'm looking forward to shooting again. To put aside all that's around me and concentrating on what's infront, the hollow silence you get when the wind blows into your ears and the moment of stillness just before your release. Many things, little money. Have just decided on my latest holiday companians gonnabe. DS-Lite. Classes... classes... different forms of classes. Hopefully to shoot. If i do get my bow anytime soon.

My gonnabe birthday wish... to have things turn for the better. Haven't been wonderful I must say. Haven't been. Can only work harder, try harder and keep my eyesight far, wide and generous. Why lock yourself in deliberately when you're a free spirit yes?

And I've realised ( Through all my beautifully long journeys to ANYWHERE & my Ipod) the reasons to why I am friends with all of my exs. No matter what they have done in the past. Simple fact, cos they DID love me... perhaps no longer, but they once did and for some of them, quite deeply and that's all that I need to be able to overlook all the things they haven't done, havent been good at, not tried hard enough or even for doing someone else behind my back.

Songs that put shutters, shortfilms of memories in my head, gives me all the reasons I need to love them, as another person in my life, a friend. Well done all of you, for loving me, no matter for how long.

Week of lessons

Sweetheart's ways of making me smile....

Takes my tears away by stretching my brows and cheeks...

Takes me to dinner with his Ohana at this place with loooooooooong legged crabs...

Tells me how dumb I am but at the same time how he can love me the same..

Sharing my dehairing moments with me =)

Burning shows that he might simply hate just cos I love em'

Piggybacks me to bed...

Asking me why I'm crying with a smile on his face and his eyes wide innocently open...

Alrighty, enough of my emo emos.... updates =)
Vivian's sweeeeeeeeeet 16th!!! Mr Joo's okāsan's Belated birthday dinner.

It's wooonderful how this week I've learnt so much about myself (my new stress tolerance level) and my family. Just through one birthday party. Let's start with the mastermind, Mr Er Ying... growing up, we've been known to be the worst pair in the family. Put us together and we'll end up either in tear or blueblacks, mostly.. Both... Time's changed loads of things.. He got me into this whole Vivian's 16th birthday thingy and in our family, the "Princesses" always got nice birthday celebrations so why would we miss out the youngest right? Read her blog and found out alittle bout what she wished for and we did it... all 36 Donuts from 3 different places, an hour plus of hardcore cooking and 16 candles later. Here you go peeps, Vian's sweeeeeeeeet 16.
Baby's 1st wrap Mexican Italian

Yes yes.. all Donuts, it's what our baby princess wants

Ohana
Party Planers!!

He's gotta be THE BESTEST person next to my dear brother Jiahong whom I can plan something and execute smoothly with. Well done us!!!

Just had an evening with Mr Joo's Ohana, his mum, 2 sisters, a boyfriend, a husband, 2 babies and the love of my life. Mr Joo and I haven't been having the best time of our lives these past couple of weeks... All the sleep we've both lost.. everything.. no details..

A little pep talk from his mum... (my my god you must be thinking... Miss Cai here actually has come to her own point of Pep talks?!?!) Yes I have.. and it.. well... helped.. in ways. Even though somethings she's said were a little more for the wellbeing of her son (natural right? she's his mother!!) I did know Kiyoshi from her view.. how he is somehow... somehow like his dad... and how letting him have his silence's essential, no point forcing him to talk. She also mentioned that guys are different and sometimes the way we females expect guys to love us and show their affections... can be misleading and even fatal to our relationships with em'.

You don't need a man showing you and the relationship offto the world constantly when you can have him loving you with respect and sincerity in private. And some of the most loving and sincere guys out there don't actually enjoy showing affection publically.
(I understand some peeps might already be feeling like if he actualy loves you he'll show it yeah?......... He will.. but it doesn't have to be constantly public and loud to be true)

True and true... up to the point when I get fucked over due to my contentment of affections shown by my man towards me based on the belief of this philosophy at least... it's always like this aint it? ANything's good and true till the point it stops working for you. Thank you Aunty for this anyways =)

Last but not least, I GOT MY RAD Exam result!! Distinction!! YAY!!! I loooove being a student, cos it's made me a far better teacher than I ever was. You'll have to be a willing and constant learner to be a great inspiring teacher!! Another philosophy, belief... that works for me =)

Mine to Remember

Song by Waz. Really explain my feelings...
Oh and there's add-ons to the last entry.. pictures so if you're bored enough, just scroll =)