Outburst

This post's about.. well, outburst of all sorts. Emotions, emotions and.. emotions... 1st things 1st, I have such a good collection of Starburst lollies right now it's scary. And at last, I've found a BLACKCURRENT in my fruitchew!! Happiness to the max can?! And it's odd cos even those that Jon brought from Australia didn't have em' :DI bought these minipacked chews from the airport and didn't think much of the blackcurrent picture printed on the packaging(cos I got cheated when I trusted the printing on the sucks pack).. ah!!!! surprise surprise!!

Candy makes me smile, hyper, overall happy. Just like love... I love to love and love even more, when I'm being loved. But I truly hate all those times when I love someone enough to have to wonder wat that person's up to, what he's thinking about, whether he was looking at the sky the same time I was staring at it. Whether I was in his thoughts at all, and care so much how he felt and where the love was. The constant checking of my mobile screen, hoping something would popup. Whether the night before was good enough, the food, my dressing, have I said anything dumb and the non-stop self blaming journey everytime I realise I've said or done something I shouldn't have. It's stupid...

All this and the one thing I will not know is if he loves me enough. How much do you love me? Would you...?

So WHAT?!

Was watching The Tyra Bank's Show on channel 5 and this episode was about Tyra's People magazine issue. How alot of the papprazzi in the U.S called her FAT. She had her whole audience dressed in the same bodysuit that she wore on the frontpage, not only that, they all had their weight stated on their chest! How courageous is that?

It has always been a war, mostly for females and the one thing that we were at war with, our very own body, our WEIGHT!! And as a modern female, I was too, at war. A constant war. Not only am I a modern female, I did not have the luxury of sitting in the office all day and allowing my mind to hide from my body. My body is being put to the test daily, infront of tens and tens of children and their parents. Ballet classes growing up and even back in dance school, I had always been the bigger dancer, the one that'll stand further back in class, the one that the ballet teachers would be picky towards when it came to my size. I have broad shoulders and that didn't help at all, if anything, it only made me look bigger.

I was lucky enough to have my contemporary and jazz teachers actually appreciating my body cos the one thing I can do is lift another female or sometimes, even male dancers in class! And that makes me a good partner cos unlike ballet duets, contemporary didn't have the "Males LIFT and females LIFTED" rule. =)

I have always been a skinny child, always getting my mum in trouble cos my dad's side of the family thinks she hasn't been feeding me well enough. And at puberty, I BLOOBED!! yes, BLOOBED like a balloon. I became literally, a fat kid. I remember switching ballet schools when I was about 10 and there, after the audition class, my new ballet teacher walked out with a big smile and said this to my mother "She's got potential and I'd love to have her join my class, but she'll have to lose abit of weight." As a kid, I didn't think much of it and probably due to my character, up till today it hasn't been a serious "SCAR" thing. Lucky me...

So far as a dancer and a dance teacher, I've always been stressed about my weight and size, I even had my ballet teacher coming into class one day and advising me to stop eating, beat that! haha.. I am very self conscieous when it came to the way I look and alot of my pals have gotten so use to it. I still have, up-to-date, a whole list of clothings I'd never wear and before 2006, I would not even give a tube top a 2nd look cos I've always believed that due to my shoulder size, it would make me look bigger than life.

So today, right here on my blog (Although not one with high readership) I'm gonna reveal my weight =) I'm 121 Pounds

To my grrlfriends out there who are fighting themselves constantly, fighting a battle is one thing, but living life is another. Don't stop living! Ever! Not even for your weight! We who live to eat shall enjoy! Not INDULGE without control, but enjoy!

And as Tyra had said, it's not about looking left and right and noticing others it's about looking in that mirror daily and being the best YOU can be.

I'm not a regular tinyass dancer, but SO WHAT?!

1382400s

I just said yes, a big yes, with the most retarded smile on my face, a question that lagged 8years of everything. "Will you be my grrlfriend and wait for me?"

It was at the airport, T1 Skytrain Station at about 9.30pm, 24th April. At last, he held my hands, looked into my eyes and mesmerised me with that smile, pumped-up pink face and the magical question. It's been a long journey, not an esy one at all, specially for me. There's more to come, but right now, at this moment, that he's gone and I'm doing the 'wait' once again. I'm happy, actually happy.

super unclear.. but butt buttt... =)

It's Mission-Almost-Impossible to make me tear. And he did... right there, I didn't know that to do, so I decided to call the one person that'll react to me well at that moment. Li yan, my beloved cuzz and there, right at the skytrain station, I was smiling, tearing, holding back and trying to talk all at the same time. Really, hardly anyone can make my heart move that way. A short phonecall and a short message later, he was gone.

After such a long emotional halt, my heart's ready to love again. To be excited again and perhaps one day, be truely hurt again. Whatever it is, every moment with you can never be compared nor can they be taken away. I love you..

Sleepy Sunday

My Sunday totally lived up to its name. Sleeping day :)
Baked today, Oatmeal Raisins, healthy healthy! Still trying to bake those Subway like Soft Baked cookies... I'm getting there, quite inconsistent but it feels like as long as the temperature's kept at about 160 (which means a much longer baking time) the cookies do come out chewy.

Talking about Subway, my pals and I have voted, THE absolute worst Subway outlet in Singapore is.....!!!
The very new Ang Mo Kio Hub!! Very bad service and we don't just mean the crew, even the manager was oddball. And how dare they call themselves "sandwich Artist" when they don't live up to that name at all. They actually didn't wrap my wrap properly and when I told them about it, they said that there were too much vegies in em', HOW THE HELL?!?! When I didn't even ask for anything EXTRA?! If you're a true Subway lover/fan, do go there and try it out.

Oh..!! Movie review, peeps, if there's any movie you'd like to spend your 9bucks on, on a weekend, please do consider Wild Hogs, totally entertaining and it might just teach us Singaporeans a little more on freedom and self exploration ;p

Quiet Friday

Quiet quiet Friday, packed my room (Somemore) it just seems neverending. Those memories that I just cannot throw out. I've listened , literally, to alot of TV this evening it's been sometime since I've sat down and had a proper meal with my mum. It was alot of slurping :)

My dolls are up, books. Oh right! Talking about books, I didn't know I had such a nice collection of em'! Like I was actually worried that I won't be able to fill the shelves well with that tinyass collection of mine. Surprise surprise!! So proud can... hurhur..

Mr Koh's been busy with "Nothing" and Short & Sweet. Which reminds me, tonight's his tech-run night! Tomorrow's judgement day.. muahhaaa... Had a change of cast due to some inside schedule changes, but this new grrl he's gotten.. (not too sure if I can mention names) she's been quite promising, and hint hint** She's lead in one of the most talked about shows this season!More HINTs**!! Directed by the one and only Loretta Chen. He seems quite confident even with the last minute changes, which is goodie good!! Good luck Pudd!! Can't wait for show tomorrow, quite sad that I won't be able to catch the Matinee Judging show, but hey, evening show's just as good yea ;p
Will update on this after tomorrow!!

Alright peeps, the director just gave me the GO, his new cast member is Cynthia Lee Macquarrie from the recent 251

Working early tomorrow, gonna teach extra this couple of weeks due to Shanti's trip, lovely grrls really.. hahaa.. just like I've taught them years ago, my stretching exercises are still their worst nightmare. Enjoy grrls!! More the Pain, Bigger the SMILES :D

Bus day!!

Not just another day on the bus :)
I had wonderful company today, heading to school. Mr Joo had lunch with me, MOS burger, oddness but somehow it felt like the service speed had changed, it was alot faster than what you'd get from MOS on a normal day. Our food came in less than 5minutes. Either that or it was just the woodlands branch.

Mr Joo then sent me to work, the plan was simply to send me to the bus terminal and him heading off to the train station. For some reason when the bus arrived, he got on.. haha but he did seem a little lost, like it wasn't the point but somehow he just went with the flow.. still, sweetNess :D

He's really such a East and central kid, he got a little 'wow' when we went pass Woodlands Rd, where they had minimal high rise buildings. And me on the other hand, as acting like a good host/guide (Hi! Welcome onboard 961) I pointed out all the "interesting" sites we passed. He didn't seemed too bothered.. But well..

Talking bout bus trips, on my way home, got on this really OLD smelling 961 and the bus driver, anal I tell ya! Some grrl came on in her school-U and naturally she paid the student's fare, due to the fact that she used coins, the driver demanded for her student ID. She probably didn't have it (Probably the reason why she'd be using coins in the first place) and she explained that she was already in her school-U. In stead of letting the matter rest, the driver reprimanded her, oddness I tell you, he then continued saying something like how anyone could have worn a school-Uniform and cheated that.. like.. 50cents worth of fare. Like.. WTF?!?! If anyone were to deliberately dress up as a student for cheaper busfare, let the person have it I say! All worth for that effort! Nutball... For the rest of the trip, anyone paid with coins were questioned where they were gonna get off. Haha... SIngaporeans are so stressed out! Even our bus drivers are anal... :(

Poor Poor country..!!

Room update

It's crazy, I SWEAR! talk about a room makeover... You noe how you'll always watch those makeover shows, you see people getting O' so excited, all teary eyed over their 'new' rooms? Yes, I've gone through that.. well almost. I actually got off my fatass and cleared up my mess (All into my cousin's room and some other parts of the house) and I transformed my room!! Yes, the word is TRANSFORMED!! Thanks to Mr Koh, It's all PINK and black :)

And thanks to Mr Joo, who made the whole 'Puzzle' part (Furnitures from IKEA) of the room simple and almost perspiration free.. YAY!! Now it's just left with moving EVERYTHING... goodness me. Oh and I was saying, moving EVERYTHING back into my room from, well, all over the house! I'm so so proud of myself, I actually drilled (Yea boys, lookout for the grrl with the powertools ;P) my own bedframe, all on my own! GO GO SuperGrrl!!

Here's a sneak at the almost completed..My ceiling, closet, sidewalls, I loooove my tree, thanx Pudd!!

My very very new bed, divider and THE OTHERSIDE ;)

Alright alright enough of my room now.. Onto the topic of my voice, IT'S NOT GETTING ANY BETTER!! Although I seriously think my Husky voice's like WAY sexier than my original, but I had to train myself to become super duper talkative (Not like I'm usually quiet, I just.. don't TALK too much.. I produce noice)just so my voice won't go away after like 5 mins of keeping quiet.

A little more on Friday, due to the beautiful rain, I decided to take a cab from Ang Mo Kio station, alright, this was how bad things were, there was literally NOTHING coming out from my mouth, I sounded totally like a mute. Right before I got onto the cab, I actually typed "Serangoon Garden" on my mobile and after I got on, yes you must have guessed already, I simply showed it to the uncle. And oh so sweetly, (Think he thought I was mute) the uncle gave a really big smile and drove on. Picked Miss Penny up on the way to school as her car had broken down that morning and she was hiking from Circus all the way to school IN THE RAIN, how that reminds me of all the weekly, musicfull walks I took to CHIJ. She had to measure my grrls for their costumes, thus the exchange of classes. I had to teach her grrls, grrls I've never taught before, without a voice... goodness.. Not like it was bad enough, one of the school teachers had removed the player, so, now here's the problem, NO VOICE, NO MUSIC. Being Miss Gina, I tried and at the top of my lungs and definitely sounding like Ugly Duckling, I tried to sing the grrls through their stretches and the slower exercises. I was so so close to just passing out cos that would seem like a much easier route in a situation like that. The only thing that saved the day was the fact that due to the celebration of the "International Friendship Day", some of the grrls decided to take the day off their CCAs and went home. Ahhhh... blessing indeed. And here's a few pictures of my very beautiful ladies in their ethnic costumes :)

Sisters, Beth and Belle :)

I've yet to understand the hoo-haas about her being my 'younger sis', Helen :)

Popped by the MDC show at Ngee Ann City's Civic Plaza yesterday, didn't get to catch the musicians tho, sadness... good show, though most of the artist looked like they would use some rest, good show good show. Jonathan, you're so so lucky you're in Australia!! That tent was a killer! So many people, so so so little air. Alrighty enough for a day... Wait, last thing, I cooked today! Hope you enjoyed the food Mr Joo!

Virgin Thoughts

My 1st post...

I must admit, I never understood how anyone could actually 'Enjoy' running their eyes through words of another. It's like a conversation, only much longer and well... quiet.

My throat's given up on me, at well last! Taught at CHIJ(OLGC) without a voice. Haha, you must be thinking how can a teacher be without a voice? But hey, when you HAVE to do it, you do it (ahhh... The wonderous word PASSION). Now that it's 'gone for tea', I thought what the heck, I shall strand my words and bore you peeps with em' :)

My Puddle O' Loove started a magazine with 3 other buddies from his skating crew NO2. I reckon the magazine's still got alot of growth potential, hope they do well! Check it out here

Here's a little explanation of how that tiny but disturbing looking "Signup" button works.. the magazine's 100% FREE, they just need your email to keep you updated and as a member, I must say I haven't received any sotr of spam from em' so it's all sweet peeps! SIGNUP away!!

Gonna teach for Shanna Bananas tomorrow morning before my own 3 classes, have no idea how I'm gonna ever survive 5 classes in a row with a voice condition like this but hell... A pal's a pal and that what I am to her :)
Get well soon banana!!

Just finished choreographing a short minute 1/2 classical piece for my G4 grrls at the C.C, Mrs Simon gladly allowed me to come up with a brand new piece!! YAY!! I've got 2weeks to get the grrls familiar and polished before Mrs simon comes in to validate. Excited and my fingers are crossed, hoping the grrls will get it all down and neat in time.